Silhouette of witch with tall hat and cape on broomstick. Banner underneath reads: "Squibstress"

The Birthday Gift

Minerva is turning seventy, and Albus has some very special plans for her.

Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall
9,100 words

Read It On

I never would have imagined that two ‘old folks’ making love could practically melt the computer screen, but I swear this one did!

Darth Solus

Squibstress, you’re absolutely wicked!


Absolutely f***g brilliant; had me steaming like a witches’ cauldron.

Poison Dwart

He closed the door behind them and sealed it with a Colloportus Charm.

“What was it you wanted to show me, Albus?” she asked with a wry grin.

He said nothing but withdrew his wand and pointed it at her. A moment later, she found herself wearing her old school uniform, complete with Gryffindor tie and Head Girl badge.

“Albus, I swear—” she began, but he cut her off.

“Enough, Miss McGonagall. Please take your seat.”

As she turned, she felt her hair released from its bun to cascade loosely down her back.

She took a seat at her old desk in the front row. As she sat, and her skirt rode up against her a bit, she realised she had on no knickers. She looked up to find that Albus wore an old-fashioned teaching robe.

“Miss McGonagall,” he said, “perhaps you would be so good as to give me the five principal exceptions to Gamp’s Law of Elemental Transfiguration.”

“Of course, Professor,” she said, getting into the spirit of the game. “One: conjured foodstuffs always Vanish in the presence of digestive enzymes. Two: carbon-based life forms cannot be conjured, nor can they be reanimated after death. Three: water cannot be conjured in the absence of greater than point five five parts per million atmospheric hydrogen. Four: fire can only be conjured in the presence of an oxidising agent in sufficient quantity to produce rapid oxidisation of a combustible material. Five: transition metals, notably gold and platinum, cannot be conjured.”

“Correct. But I must ask, Miss McGonagall, why you are not wearing any knickers.”

Download an Ebook

Select your format

If you need help getting an ebook onto your e-reader, Ebooks Direct has a handy guide.

Spoiler Alert!

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut elit tellus, luctus nec ullamcorper mattis, pulvinar dapibus leo.